Sunday, October 4, 2009
Amazing Facts About The Human Body
Facts 1 - 5
1. The stomach's digestive acids are strong enough to dissolve zinc. Fortunately for us, the cells in the stomach lining renew so quickly that the acids don't have time to dissolve it.
2. The lungs contain over 300,000 million capillaries (tiny blood vessels). If they were laid end to end, they would stretch 2400km (1500 miles).
3. A man's testicles manufacture 10 million new sperm cells each day - enough that he could repopulate the entire planet in only 6 months!
4. Human bone is as strong as granite in supporting weight. A block of bone the size of a matchbox can support 9 tonnes - that is four times as much as concrete can support.
5. Each finger and toenail takes six months to grow from base to tip.
Facts 6 - 10
6. The largest organ in the body is the skin. In an adult man it covers about 1.9m2 (20sq ft). The skin constantly flakes away - in a lifetime each person sheds around 18kg (40 lb) of skin.
7. When you sleep, you grow by about 8mm (0.3in). The next day you shrink back to your former height. The reason is that your cartilage discs are squeezed like sponges by the force of gravity when you stand or sit.
8. The average person in the west eats 50 tonnes of food and drinks 50,000 litres (11,000 gallons) of liquid during his life.
9. Each kidney contains 1 million individual filters. They filter an average of around 1.3 litres (2.2 pints) of blood per minute and expel up to 1.4 litres (2.5 pints) a day of urine.
10. The focusing muscles of the eyes move around 100,000 times a day. To give your leg muscles the same workout, you would need to walk 80km (50 miles) every day.
Facts 11 - 15
11. In 30 minutes, the average body gives off enough heat (combined) to bring a half gallon of water to boil.
12. A single human blood cell takes only 60 seconds to make a complete circuit of the body.
13. A foreskin, the size of a postage stamp, from circumcised babies take only 21 days to grow skin that can cover three (3) basketball courts. Amazing isn't it. Thanks to science. The laboratory-grown skin is used in treating burn patients.
14. The eyes receive approximately 90 percent of all our information, making us basically visual creatures.
15. The female ovaries contain nearly half-a-million egg cells, yet only 400 or so will ever get the opportunity to create a new life.
Source: listverse.com/
The top five cancer-causing foods
1. Hot dogs
Because they are high in nitrates, the Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.
2. Processed meats and bacon
Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.
3. Doughnuts
Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures. Doughnuts, says Adams , may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.
4. French fries
Like doughnuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries, said Adams .
5. Chips, crackers, and cookies
All are usually made with white flour and sugar. Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of trans-fats.
It's hard to avoid right but please make a try...u will manage soon...think of u love one.
Because they are high in nitrates, the Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.
2. Processed meats and bacon
Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.
3. Doughnuts
Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures. Doughnuts, says Adams , may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.
4. French fries
Like doughnuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries, said Adams .
5. Chips, crackers, and cookies
All are usually made with white flour and sugar. Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of trans-fats.
It's hard to avoid right but please make a try...u will manage soon...think of u love one.
10 reasons to throw your microwave oven
From the conclusions of the Swiss, Russian and German scientific clinical studies, we can no longer ignore the microwave oven sitting in our kitchens. Based on this research, we will conclude with the following:
1). Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes
long term - permanent - brain damage by 'shorting out' electrical
impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain
tissue].
2). The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the unknown
by-products created in microwaved food.
3). Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by
continually eating microwaved foods.
4). The effects of microwaved food by-products are residual [long
term, permanent] within the human body..
5). Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients of all microwaved food is
reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit,
or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot be broken
down.
6).. The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free
radicals when cooked in microwave ovens.
7). Microwaved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths
[tumors]. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer
in America .
8). The prolonged eating of microwaved foods causes cancerous cells to
increase in human blood.
9). Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system
deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.
10). Eating microwaved food causes loss of memory, concentration,
emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.
Have you tossed out your microwave oven yet? After you throw out your microwave, you can use a toaster oven as a replacement. It works well for most and is nearly as quick.. The use of artificial microwave transmissions for subliminal psychological control, a.k.a. 'brainwashing', has also been proven. We're attempting to obtain
copies of the 1970's Russian research documents and results written by Drs. Luria and Perov specifying their clinical experiments in this area.
1). Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes
long term - permanent - brain damage by 'shorting out' electrical
impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain
tissue].
2). The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the unknown
by-products created in microwaved food.
3). Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by
continually eating microwaved foods.
4). The effects of microwaved food by-products are residual [long
term, permanent] within the human body..
5). Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients of all microwaved food is
reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit,
or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot be broken
down.
6).. The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free
radicals when cooked in microwave ovens.
7). Microwaved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths
[tumors]. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer
in America .
8). The prolonged eating of microwaved foods causes cancerous cells to
increase in human blood.
9). Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system
deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.
10). Eating microwaved food causes loss of memory, concentration,
emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.
Have you tossed out your microwave oven yet? After you throw out your microwave, you can use a toaster oven as a replacement. It works well for most and is nearly as quick.. The use of artificial microwave transmissions for subliminal psychological control, a.k.a. 'brainwashing', has also been proven. We're attempting to obtain
copies of the 1970's Russian research documents and results written by Drs. Luria and Perov specifying their clinical experiments in this area.
Drink Water on Empty Stomach
It is popular inJapan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:
Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.
Method of treatment
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water …..Interesting
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure - 30 days
2. Gastric - 10 days
3. Diabetes - 30 days
4. Constipation - 10 days
5. Cancer - 180 days
6. TB - 90 days
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards - daily.
This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life.
Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.
This makes sense, the Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals.. not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain…
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.
Once this “sludge” reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive…
Follow our sunnah..drink water 3 glass after wake up...it will clear all the nasty thing in our body...
It is popular in
Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.
Method of treatment
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water …..Interesting
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure - 30 days
2. Gastric - 10 days
3. Diabetes - 30 days
4. Constipation - 10 days
5. Cancer - 180 days
6. TB - 90 days
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards - daily.
This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life.
Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.
This makes sense, the Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals.. not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain…
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.
Once this “sludge” reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive…
Follow our sunnah..drink water 3 glass after wake up...it will clear all the nasty thing in our body...
Five don'ts when you are sleeping
1 - DON’T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.
2 - DON’T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.
3 - DON’T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mo! bile phone near you, switch it off first.
4 - DON’T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.
Lastly…..
5 - DON’T SLEEP WITH OTHERS’ WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again. : )>.<
Top 10 Things Better Than SEX
10. Housework?
Over 30% of women surveyed claim that “cleaning gives them more satisfaction than sex”.
These are the results of a survey of two thousand women for the National Housework Survey of Great Britain 2006. Regarding this survey, the Independent Daily reported that “even in an age when women are making economic strides and excelling in the workplace, the one thing that gives the majority a sense of empowerment is a good go around the house with the vacuum cleaner — followed by some cleaning and dusting.”
These must be the same women who don’t find Mr. Muscle or the Brawny paper towel guy the least bit distracting. I mean who wouldn’t like a ‘good go around’ with one of these guys?
9. Dating A Vampire
Fans of the book or the movie Twilight know that you can’t have *** with your vampire boyfriend or he will probably kill you in a passionate fit. But you’re willing to make that sacrifice because you just love him so much.
He’s so wonderful that it’s all worth it - he’s extremely handsome, drives an expensive car, and he actually glitters in the sunlight. (Now what teen girl isn’t a sucker for glitter?)
Did I mention that he might sneak into your bedroom and stare at you all night while you are sleeping? Or that he’s condescending, emotionally distant, and rather sarcastic? Oh, and his body is ice cold, he’s murdered people in the past, and his friends and family instinctively want to drink your blood?
But I don’t care, mom, he’s dreamy!
8. Weight Loss
According to a survey at AOLHealth.com, 26% of the moms who participated would rather “lose 10 pounds” than “have more sex”. Even more of them (30%) would rather “make more money” (not surprising, since you don’t actually get paid anything to be a mom…).
7. Music
Findings from a survey conducted by Marrakesh Records: “Music is hugely important… 60% of 16-24 year-olds would rather go without *** than music for a week. This increases to 70% for 16-19 year-olds.”
Okay, I now have this whole teen ***/abstinence thing figured out – the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) should only prosecute pregnant teens and their boyfriends for downloading music illegally, that should be more effective than Bristol Palin’s Abstinence Campaign! Once a few kids are prosecuted and word gets around, teen pregnancies will decrease (of course, music downloading may increase…)
6. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)
On the opposite side of the *** spectrum, I propose that IVF is better than *** if you’re trying to get pregnant…
Why take your chances with the genetic lottery system that is lovemaking when you can go embryo shopping with in vitro fertilization (IVF)? With IVF, you can get a Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) – described in an article written by William Saleton at Slate.com as “a technique for weeding out flawed embryos”. At first PGD was used to identify (and reject) embryos that had fatal infant diseases. It was also only offered to high risk couples. But now, it’s being used to select an embryo based on a much wider scope of criteria (gender, non-fatal diseases and disorders). Just imagine what the possibilities are going to be like in the future (hair color, IQ, athlethicism, etc).
Now why would any practical (and wealthy) person choose to have a baby the old way- where you don’t know what you are going to get- when you can create your own custom kid? Think of the children! Is it fair to send your natural spawn to school with a bunch of genetic super kids?
5. Sports
The term better than *** is described as “a euphoric experience, often food-related, quite similar to an orgasm. Usually used by women, as for most men there is nothing better than sex” (urbandictionary.com). Nothing except sports, that is –
Why sports are better than ***:
1. People watch and cheer when you score.
2. If you don’t like your team you can wait until your contract ends and then play with someone else.
3. You can count on it all season.
4. You can watch it going on in your local bar.
5. It lasts over an hour and might even go into over time.
6. You can have a coach on the sidelines while you are doing it.
7. Action replays.
8. Protective equipment can be washed and re-used.
Apparently a lot of people have spent a lot of time coming up with lists of reasons why various sports are better than ***. I guess if you’re not ‘getting any’ you have the spare time…
Why soccer is better than ***:
1. You can be on top for 80 minutes and still come in second.
2. You can score using your head or your feet.
3. Size doesn’t matter. (jokewallpaper.com, The O’Byrne Files
Why hockey is better than ***:
1. A two-on-one or three-on-one is common.
2. People still play hockey after they are married.
3. Periods only last 20 minutes.
4. You can change players on the fly.
Why juggling (…juggling?) is better than ***:
1. You can juggle your balls in front of your grandma.
2. You don’t need a partner.
3. There’s nothing wrong with having blue balls. (thespoof.com)
Of course if you are a professional juggler you might as well pretend you don’t like *** very much, because you probably have the opportunity… unless there’s a cute mime who has the hots for you, or perhaps a unicyclist –
4. Sleep
According to the Sleep Well website based out of Stanford University there are at least ten reasons why sleep is better than ***.
Among them: “sleep can last a good eight hours (or more)” and “while sleeping you can have *** with anyone you want”.
UK website The Independent reported that “almost 80 per cent of Britons prefer a good night’s sleep to sex”. This comes from a study conducted by the Edinburgh Sleep Centrewhere “79.2 per cent [of over 8,500 people] admitted they preferred the thought of extra sleep to ***.”
Of course, this could be one of those win-win situations: if you make sleep your priority at night that might give you more energy for all sorts of activity during the day…
3. Food
Food wins out over *** in so many ways. Most obviously, because you can order it in or enjoy it all by yourself without being judged…
There are 326 recipes called “Better Than *** Cake” at Cooks.com alone. There is also one recipe at the same site called “Almost Better Than *** Cake” – I’m guessing this is by the one home chef who has actually sampled both?
Of course if you prefer cookies, here is a better than *** cookie recipe.
I’ve also never heard anyone use the saying, “eat your brains out”… In fact, many foods are actually good for your brain. An article at cnn.com cites a study at Wheeling Jesuit University (West Virginia) that indicates that chocolate can improve “memory, attention span, reaction time, and problem-solving skills”.
Not convinced? Compare this to having *** “on the brain”, which has the exact opposite effect, causing: forgetfulness, distraction, and the inability to think clearly.
Chocolate is also an aphrodisiac, so if you choose chocolate over *** you may still end up with both…
2. Cell Phones
A survey conducted by Dial-a-Phone, a cell phone retailer in the UK, reported that “24 percent of women, but zero percent of men, would rather give up *** than their mobile phone for a month” (itwire.com). This makes sense, since I’m sure at least 24 percent of women have realized that a cell phone is better than a man (or woman, if that’s your thing):
1. You never have to prepare meals for your phone: in fact, it will help you get food delivered.
2. You can tell a phone to be silent or choose to ignore a phone without hurt feelings.
3. You can turn a phone on several times in a row – it’s always ready to go and it’s energy will lasts for hours (if not, you can just replace the battery).
4. A cell phone doesn’t care if you talk while the basketball game is on. In fact, the cell phone will let you watch Pride and Prejudice for the 27th time instead, if that’s what you want.
5. It has a call history that you can easily access to see if anyone else is pushing your phone’s buttons.
6. A cell phone is a silent witness to your long chats with your friends and does not make any sarcastic comments about them afterwards.
7. A cell phone doesn’t keep you from asking for directions, in fact it will get them for you.
8. A cell phone is almost always in your car yet it never comments on your driving.
9. A cell phone set to T9 mode will hang on to your every word and anticipate what you are trying to say.
10. And there’s always that handy vibrate mode if you get lonely…
1. The Internet
According to Judy Mottl’s article The Internet: Better than ***?, an Intel-sponsored survey found that “46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would rather abstain from sexual activity for two weeks than go without Internet access for the same timeframe. The percentage spikes higher, to 49 percent, among women ages 18 to 34 years old and to a whopping 52 percent for 35 years old to 44 years old.”
Reasons given by the same article for why the Internet is so important:
1. The ability to stay in touch with family and friends.
2. More efficient shopping.
3. A better grip on personal/financial activities thanks to online services.
I’m pretty sure that making any of the above claims about your *** life would just get you into trouble!
Click this bar to view the full image. |
Over 30% of women surveyed claim that “cleaning gives them more satisfaction than sex”.
These are the results of a survey of two thousand women for the National Housework Survey of Great Britain 2006. Regarding this survey, the Independent Daily reported that “even in an age when women are making economic strides and excelling in the workplace, the one thing that gives the majority a sense of empowerment is a good go around the house with the vacuum cleaner — followed by some cleaning and dusting.”
These must be the same women who don’t find Mr. Muscle or the Brawny paper towel guy the least bit distracting. I mean who wouldn’t like a ‘good go around’ with one of these guys?
9. Dating A Vampire
Fans of the book or the movie Twilight know that you can’t have *** with your vampire boyfriend or he will probably kill you in a passionate fit. But you’re willing to make that sacrifice because you just love him so much.
He’s so wonderful that it’s all worth it - he’s extremely handsome, drives an expensive car, and he actually glitters in the sunlight. (Now what teen girl isn’t a sucker for glitter?)
Did I mention that he might sneak into your bedroom and stare at you all night while you are sleeping? Or that he’s condescending, emotionally distant, and rather sarcastic? Oh, and his body is ice cold, he’s murdered people in the past, and his friends and family instinctively want to drink your blood?
But I don’t care, mom, he’s dreamy!
8. Weight Loss
According to a survey at AOLHealth.com, 26% of the moms who participated would rather “lose 10 pounds” than “have more sex”. Even more of them (30%) would rather “make more money” (not surprising, since you don’t actually get paid anything to be a mom…).
7. Music
Findings from a survey conducted by Marrakesh Records: “Music is hugely important… 60% of 16-24 year-olds would rather go without *** than music for a week. This increases to 70% for 16-19 year-olds.”
Okay, I now have this whole teen ***/abstinence thing figured out – the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) should only prosecute pregnant teens and their boyfriends for downloading music illegally, that should be more effective than Bristol Palin’s Abstinence Campaign! Once a few kids are prosecuted and word gets around, teen pregnancies will decrease (of course, music downloading may increase…)
6. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)
Click this bar to view the full image. |
On the opposite side of the *** spectrum, I propose that IVF is better than *** if you’re trying to get pregnant…
Why take your chances with the genetic lottery system that is lovemaking when you can go embryo shopping with in vitro fertilization (IVF)? With IVF, you can get a Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) – described in an article written by William Saleton at Slate.com as “a technique for weeding out flawed embryos”. At first PGD was used to identify (and reject) embryos that had fatal infant diseases. It was also only offered to high risk couples. But now, it’s being used to select an embryo based on a much wider scope of criteria (gender, non-fatal diseases and disorders). Just imagine what the possibilities are going to be like in the future (hair color, IQ, athlethicism, etc).
Now why would any practical (and wealthy) person choose to have a baby the old way- where you don’t know what you are going to get- when you can create your own custom kid? Think of the children! Is it fair to send your natural spawn to school with a bunch of genetic super kids?
5. Sports
This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 500x507. |
The term better than *** is described as “a euphoric experience, often food-related, quite similar to an orgasm. Usually used by women, as for most men there is nothing better than sex” (urbandictionary.com). Nothing except sports, that is –
Why sports are better than ***:
1. People watch and cheer when you score.
2. If you don’t like your team you can wait until your contract ends and then play with someone else.
3. You can count on it all season.
4. You can watch it going on in your local bar.
5. It lasts over an hour and might even go into over time.
6. You can have a coach on the sidelines while you are doing it.
7. Action replays.
8. Protective equipment can be washed and re-used.
Apparently a lot of people have spent a lot of time coming up with lists of reasons why various sports are better than ***. I guess if you’re not ‘getting any’ you have the spare time…
Why soccer is better than ***:
1. You can be on top for 80 minutes and still come in second.
2. You can score using your head or your feet.
3. Size doesn’t matter. (jokewallpaper.com, The O’Byrne Files
Why hockey is better than ***:
1. A two-on-one or three-on-one is common.
2. People still play hockey after they are married.
3. Periods only last 20 minutes.
4. You can change players on the fly.
Why juggling (…juggling?) is better than ***:
1. You can juggle your balls in front of your grandma.
2. You don’t need a partner.
3. There’s nothing wrong with having blue balls. (thespoof.com)
Of course if you are a professional juggler you might as well pretend you don’t like *** very much, because you probably have the opportunity… unless there’s a cute mime who has the hots for you, or perhaps a unicyclist –
4. Sleep
According to the Sleep Well website based out of Stanford University there are at least ten reasons why sleep is better than ***.
Among them: “sleep can last a good eight hours (or more)” and “while sleeping you can have *** with anyone you want”.
UK website The Independent reported that “almost 80 per cent of Britons prefer a good night’s sleep to sex”. This comes from a study conducted by the Edinburgh Sleep Centrewhere “79.2 per cent [of over 8,500 people] admitted they preferred the thought of extra sleep to ***.”
Of course, this could be one of those win-win situations: if you make sleep your priority at night that might give you more energy for all sorts of activity during the day…
3. Food
Food wins out over *** in so many ways. Most obviously, because you can order it in or enjoy it all by yourself without being judged…
There are 326 recipes called “Better Than *** Cake” at Cooks.com alone. There is also one recipe at the same site called “Almost Better Than *** Cake” – I’m guessing this is by the one home chef who has actually sampled both?
Of course if you prefer cookies, here is a better than *** cookie recipe.
I’ve also never heard anyone use the saying, “eat your brains out”… In fact, many foods are actually good for your brain. An article at cnn.com cites a study at Wheeling Jesuit University (West Virginia) that indicates that chocolate can improve “memory, attention span, reaction time, and problem-solving skills”.
Not convinced? Compare this to having *** “on the brain”, which has the exact opposite effect, causing: forgetfulness, distraction, and the inability to think clearly.
Chocolate is also an aphrodisiac, so if you choose chocolate over *** you may still end up with both…
2. Cell Phones
A survey conducted by Dial-a-Phone, a cell phone retailer in the UK, reported that “24 percent of women, but zero percent of men, would rather give up *** than their mobile phone for a month” (itwire.com). This makes sense, since I’m sure at least 24 percent of women have realized that a cell phone is better than a man (or woman, if that’s your thing):
1. You never have to prepare meals for your phone: in fact, it will help you get food delivered.
2. You can tell a phone to be silent or choose to ignore a phone without hurt feelings.
3. You can turn a phone on several times in a row – it’s always ready to go and it’s energy will lasts for hours (if not, you can just replace the battery).
4. A cell phone doesn’t care if you talk while the basketball game is on. In fact, the cell phone will let you watch Pride and Prejudice for the 27th time instead, if that’s what you want.
5. It has a call history that you can easily access to see if anyone else is pushing your phone’s buttons.
6. A cell phone is a silent witness to your long chats with your friends and does not make any sarcastic comments about them afterwards.
7. A cell phone doesn’t keep you from asking for directions, in fact it will get them for you.
8. A cell phone is almost always in your car yet it never comments on your driving.
9. A cell phone set to T9 mode will hang on to your every word and anticipate what you are trying to say.
10. And there’s always that handy vibrate mode if you get lonely…
1. The Internet
According to Judy Mottl’s article The Internet: Better than ***?, an Intel-sponsored survey found that “46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would rather abstain from sexual activity for two weeks than go without Internet access for the same timeframe. The percentage spikes higher, to 49 percent, among women ages 18 to 34 years old and to a whopping 52 percent for 35 years old to 44 years old.”
Reasons given by the same article for why the Internet is so important:
1. The ability to stay in touch with family and friends.
2. More efficient shopping.
3. A better grip on personal/financial activities thanks to online services.
I’m pretty sure that making any of the above claims about your *** life would just get you into trouble!
10 tips for good night's sleep
STICK TO A SCHEDULE.
Irregular bed times do not allow for your body to align to the proper circadian rhythms. Make sure you try to keep the same schedule on weekends too, otherwise the next morning, you would wake up later and feel overly tired.
SLEEP ONLY AT NIGHT
Avoid daytime sleep if possible. Daytime naps steal hours from nighttime slumber. Limit daytime sleep to 20-minute power naps.
DO EXERCISE
It helps you to sleep better. Your body uses the sleep period to recover its muscles and joints that have been exercised. Exercise in the morning or afternoon daily for about 20 to 30 minutes. Exercise stimulates the body. Aerobic activity before bedtime may make falling asleep more difficult.
TAKE A HOT SHOWER OR BATH
Shower or bath before bed helps bring on sleep because they can relax tense muscles.
AVOID EATING PRIOR TO BEDTIME
Avoid large meals or spicy foods before bedtime. Give yourself at least 2 hours from the time you eat before bedtime. This allows for digestion before you go to sleep so your body can rest well during the night, rather than churning away your food.
NO CAFFEINE
Caffeine keeps you awake and that's not what you want for a good night's sleep.
READ A BOOK
It takes you to a whole new world if you really get into it. And then take some time to ponder over the book as you fall asleep. As you read more, you get more tired at night and makes you fall asleep faster.
KEEP ROOM COOLER
Turn off the heat and allow coolness to circulate in/out of the windows. If you get cold, wear warm clothes. It also saves you heating bills.
SLEEP IN QUIET ROOM
Sleep with no music or TV is more restful and without distractions is best to rest your mind.
AVOID ALCOHOL PRIOR TO BEDTIME
Alcohol is a depressant. It may make it easier to fall asleep but it causes you to wake up during the night that cause nighttime awakenings and nightmares for some people.
Irregular bed times do not allow for your body to align to the proper circadian rhythms. Make sure you try to keep the same schedule on weekends too, otherwise the next morning, you would wake up later and feel overly tired.
SLEEP ONLY AT NIGHT
Avoid daytime sleep if possible. Daytime naps steal hours from nighttime slumber. Limit daytime sleep to 20-minute power naps.
DO EXERCISE
It helps you to sleep better. Your body uses the sleep period to recover its muscles and joints that have been exercised. Exercise in the morning or afternoon daily for about 20 to 30 minutes. Exercise stimulates the body. Aerobic activity before bedtime may make falling asleep more difficult.
TAKE A HOT SHOWER OR BATH
Shower or bath before bed helps bring on sleep because they can relax tense muscles.
AVOID EATING PRIOR TO BEDTIME
Avoid large meals or spicy foods before bedtime. Give yourself at least 2 hours from the time you eat before bedtime. This allows for digestion before you go to sleep so your body can rest well during the night, rather than churning away your food.
NO CAFFEINE
Caffeine keeps you awake and that's not what you want for a good night's sleep.
READ A BOOK
It takes you to a whole new world if you really get into it. And then take some time to ponder over the book as you fall asleep. As you read more, you get more tired at night and makes you fall asleep faster.
KEEP ROOM COOLER
Turn off the heat and allow coolness to circulate in/out of the windows. If you get cold, wear warm clothes. It also saves you heating bills.
SLEEP IN QUIET ROOM
Sleep with no music or TV is more restful and without distractions is best to rest your mind.
AVOID ALCOHOL PRIOR TO BEDTIME
Alcohol is a depressant. It may make it easier to fall asleep but it causes you to wake up during the night that cause nighttime awakenings and nightmares for some people.
Amazing facts that we should know
1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.
2) Book Without Letter "e":
2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it
3) Word without Vowel:
single word with 'e' in it
3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry
4) Human Brain:
4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.
5) Crocodile:
5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.
6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:
They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why
Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:
1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.
What are They :
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:
They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why
Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:
1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.
What are They :
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:
ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME
In 24 Hours Average Human:
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
In 24 Hours Average Human:
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
Is English funny...hehe
To all the English scholars who pride urselves.
who said english is easy ?
fill this blanks with yes or No.....
1.__________ _____ i don't have a brain.
2.__________ _____ I don't have any sense.
3. ____________ ___ i am stupid.
4. ____________ ___ i am mad.
Try to fill . all the best...
Have a Nice DAY!!!
who said english is easy ?
fill this blanks with yes or No.....
1.__________ _____ i don't have a brain.
2.__________ _____ I don't have any sense.
3. ____________ ___ i am stupid.
4. ____________ ___ i am mad.
Try to fill . all the best...
Have a Nice DAY!!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Nine Good Reading Habits
Like all travels in this glamorous and lucrative world of study skills, we have come to the section where I contradict everything I have said up to this point. While I truly believe that each student needs to individualize his approach to school, there is a time and place for good old uniformity and standardization. There are some good habits, which, if your child chooses to use, will increase his retention and comprehension. They are based on a concept called active reading. This idea is simple: The more of your child's brain is engaged in the act of reading, the more he learns. The following strategies are good active reading habits that will help any reader:
Use the cover up: For many students, the words on the page run and blur together -- especially if you are hard wired like myself. To mitigate this, use a three by five index card to cover everything except the sentence that your child is reading. When they finish a line, they move the card down and repeat the process.
Give the text the finger: Along with the card, have your child follow their reading with their finger, engaging a tactical learning style.
Read out loud or mouth the words: Again, another way to engage verbal processing. Many students don't need to literally talk out load -- mouthing the words serves the same end.
Keep moving: As always, fidgeting is good for the brain. Keep them moving, to keep them on target.
Use three-color highlighting: Highlights are a cheap and easy way to integrate visual memory into the reading process. Buy your child three colors and have them assign a different color to the main points, supporting details, and terms of the reading.
Use bookmarks/flagging: Buy your child some type of "red" flag that they can use to mark important ideas or passages. The coolest ones are made by 3M and are literally plastic flaps that come in all different colors and stick directly on to the pages. Also, have your child record in a notebook the page numbers and any thoughts they had on why they flagged that page.
Take margin notes: Despite what crotchety old librarians say, books are supposed to be written on -- have your child write notes, questions, comments, snide remarks, or draw pictures in the margins.
Write or talk out summaries: Having your child take a few minutes to either write up a reading summary or talk it out will help him retain the readings and ultimately help him recall it come test or essay time.
Consider reading notes: I include this one with some hesitation -- reading notes are great for some kids, horrible for others. The problem with reading notes is that for some kids, if they take notes, they'll never finish the reading. The upside of reading notes is that they can obviously help with retention and retrieval of information come test time. So if you decide to work with your child on taking reading notes, make sure you limit them to writing at most one sentence about every other paragraph and summaries at the end of sections or chapters depending on the lengths of the assignments.
__________________
Use the cover up: For many students, the words on the page run and blur together -- especially if you are hard wired like myself. To mitigate this, use a three by five index card to cover everything except the sentence that your child is reading. When they finish a line, they move the card down and repeat the process.
Give the text the finger: Along with the card, have your child follow their reading with their finger, engaging a tactical learning style.
Read out loud or mouth the words: Again, another way to engage verbal processing. Many students don't need to literally talk out load -- mouthing the words serves the same end.
Keep moving: As always, fidgeting is good for the brain. Keep them moving, to keep them on target.
Use three-color highlighting: Highlights are a cheap and easy way to integrate visual memory into the reading process. Buy your child three colors and have them assign a different color to the main points, supporting details, and terms of the reading.
Use bookmarks/flagging: Buy your child some type of "red" flag that they can use to mark important ideas or passages. The coolest ones are made by 3M and are literally plastic flaps that come in all different colors and stick directly on to the pages. Also, have your child record in a notebook the page numbers and any thoughts they had on why they flagged that page.
Take margin notes: Despite what crotchety old librarians say, books are supposed to be written on -- have your child write notes, questions, comments, snide remarks, or draw pictures in the margins.
Write or talk out summaries: Having your child take a few minutes to either write up a reading summary or talk it out will help him retain the readings and ultimately help him recall it come test or essay time.
Consider reading notes: I include this one with some hesitation -- reading notes are great for some kids, horrible for others. The problem with reading notes is that for some kids, if they take notes, they'll never finish the reading. The upside of reading notes is that they can obviously help with retention and retrieval of information come test time. So if you decide to work with your child on taking reading notes, make sure you limit them to writing at most one sentence about every other paragraph and summaries at the end of sections or chapters depending on the lengths of the assignments.
Just for Laught...
this is one of my incentive to increase my point... huhuhu...chayo! chayo!
Just Read and Laught... If can't just smile to release your tension.....
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at you.
When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to
free u from darkness and if after you pray and your
still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !
this is one of my incentive to increase my point... huhuhu...chayo! chayo!
Just Read and Laught... If can't just smile to release your tension.....
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at you.
When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to
free u from darkness and if after you pray and your
still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !
Friday, November 21, 2008
50 Ways To Scare People In The Computer Hall
50 Ways to Scare People In the Computer Hall
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop
and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on
duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's
turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the
process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to
you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to
different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it
at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by
something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into
top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn
it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you
have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes
at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue
typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as
if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before
starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until
someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say,
"Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time
required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream
"YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you
(It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to
make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets.
Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The
Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time
required.
21. Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it
to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and
then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive,
when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly
where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all
done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After
doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the
person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the
person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you
never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this
releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them
linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split
ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as
you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family
on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove
shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by
layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku
about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your
paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain
about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!"
and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is
smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A
Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum
its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying
"Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard
& taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that
sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again
until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the
space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your
neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times,
erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your*
delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the
space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've
deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then,
suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the
space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"
Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab
monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For
special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk
drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really
puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly.
Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making
elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or
the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek
up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh,
good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk
to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before
they geta chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound
effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that
the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species
of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence,
then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss
the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy
mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then
the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!",
then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Giggle franticly and ask the person next to you if they have ever heard of Alester Crowley.
50. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker
chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest
person and say "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my
pet crocodile for the next week".
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop
and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on
duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's
turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the
process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to
you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to
different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it
at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by
something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into
top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn
it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you
have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes
at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue
typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as
if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before
starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until
someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say,
"Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time
required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream
"YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you
(It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to
make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets.
Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The
Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time
required.
21. Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it
to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and
then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive,
when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly
where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all
done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After
doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the
person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the
person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you
never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this
releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them
linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split
ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as
you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family
on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove
shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by
layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku
about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your
paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain
about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!"
and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is
smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A
Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum
its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying
"Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard
& taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that
sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again
until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the
space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your
neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times,
erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your*
delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the
space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've
deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then,
suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the
space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"
Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab
monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For
special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk
drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really
puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly.
Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making
elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or
the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek
up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh,
good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk
to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before
they geta chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound
effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that
the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species
of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence,
then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss
the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy
mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then
the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!",
then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Giggle franticly and ask the person next to you if they have ever heard of Alester Crowley.
50. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker
chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest
person and say "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my
pet crocodile for the next week".
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thumbs up HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE...
HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE
ATTITUDE :1. Open a new file in your PC .
2. Name it " Boss "
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4.Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently? "
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
7. Feel better?
HAVE A NICE DAY
Innocent Questions & Answers
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
***********
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
***********
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
***********
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
***********
***********
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
***********
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform,
she asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right? "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
***********
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment,
my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said," What'd he do?"
***********
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
***********
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
***********
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting , then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."
***********
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother .. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
***********
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. ; ; "What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear."
Do love need a reason?
Lady: Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man : I can’t tell the reason.. but I really like you..
Lady: You can’t even tell me the reason… how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don’t know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend’s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man : Ok.. ok!!! Erm… because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements..
Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became comma. The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:
Dearest,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you. Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you. Because of your care and concern that I like you. Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you. Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you. Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you.
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore. Do love need a reason?
No!
Therefore, I still love you. And love doesn’t need a reason.
Man : I can’t tell the reason.. but I really like you..
Lady: You can’t even tell me the reason… how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don’t know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend’s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man : Ok.. ok!!! Erm… because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements..
Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became comma. The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:
Dearest,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you. Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you. Because of your care and concern that I like you. Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you. Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you. Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you.
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore. Do love need a reason?
No!
Therefore, I still love you. And love doesn’t need a reason.
Why Do People Lie?
Whether you're a judge, a caring wife, or a concerned parent, lying is one of the most common things done by individuals in society. Lying does not only take place within families, but between governments; businesses to customers; and others. Even though lying is generally thought of as a bad thing, can it be a good thing? Whatever the case, where does lying come from and why do we do it? In this article, the main reasons on why people lie are going to be revealed.
As a Joke
Many times individuals lie to tell jokes. Does that make it a good thing? Maybe not, but I guess it will depend on the person. If it is perhaps Halloween, and a group of kids are planning a scare, one of them might lie to get an individual trapped into their prank. Even in simple sarcastic conversations one may tell a lie, but was only being sarcastic with actually no intention of harming or deceiving the person. In either case, this form of lying, as a joke, is one of the reasons why people lie.
To Escape Punishment
Another reason why people lie is to escape punishment. If a child knows that he's done something wrong and is afraid he is going to get punished for it, the natural reaction of a human is to lie to prevent it. However, many times that just makes it worse, and so in some cases people know to tell the truth up front to avoid getting caught in a lie later. On the other hand, those that do tell a lie are simply doing so as a risk to avoid punishment.
Deceptive Gain
This is form of lying is probably the most harmful. In many cases, this form of lying is no different than taking another's belongings or life, but many still seem to do it regardless of the outcomes. Why do people do it? Well, that question can be debated. Many couples do this to cheat on their spouse. Many thieves do this to steal others' belongs. Many individuals do this to control the minds of people to get them to do what they want to do. Whatever the reason of this deceptive form of lying, most people do it as a form of deceptive gain.
Confused Mind
The final reason why people lie is when individuals don't know the truth. Perhaps the person is taught something, and it is passed on to the next. It may be a lie, but the person still believes it. So if they really believe it, then are they lying? They aren't lying intentionally, but are still doing so because of not telling the truth. With this form of lying, the reason why people do this is mainly because of blind believing, or fear. Many times (although unintentional) it can be just as problematic as to that which is done for deceptive gain.
Those are the 4 main reasons why people lie. Is there a way to stop people from lying? Are all of them bad? Well, that depends on whom you ask. Whether it is a good or bad, can or cannot be prevented, the main reasons are revealed.
when u are lying, which one are u?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The 48 Laws of Power
The 48 Laws of Power
by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers
Law 1
Never Outshine the Master
Law 2
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Law 3
Conceal your Intentions
Law 4
Always Say Less than Necessary
Law 5
So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life
Law 6
Court Attention at all Cost
Law 7
Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit
Law 8
Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary
Law 9
Win through your Actions, Never through Argument
Law 10
Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
Law 11
Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
Law 12
Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your VictimOne sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.
Law 13
When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,
Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
Law 14
Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy
Law 15
Crush your Enemy Totally
Law 16
Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Law 17
Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability
Law 18
Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous
Law 19
Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person
Law 20
Do Not Commit to Anyone
Law 21
Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark
Law 22
Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power
Law 23
Concentrate Your Forces
Law 24
Play the Perfect Courtier
Law 25
Re-Create Yourself
Law 26
Keep Your Hands Clean
Law 27
Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following
Law 28
Enter Action with Boldness
If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.
Law 29
Plan All the Way to the End
Law 30
Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless
Law 31
Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal
Law 32
Play to People’s Fantasies
Law 33
Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew
Law 34
Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one
Law 35
Master the Art of Timing
Law 36
Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge
Law 37
Create Compelling Spectacles
Law 38
Think as you like but Behave like others
Law 39
Stir up Waters to Catch Fish
Law 40
Despise the Free Lunch
Law 41
Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes
Law 42
Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter
Law 43
Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others
Law 44
Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect
Law 45
Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once
Law 46
Never appear too Perfect
Law 47
Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop
Law 48
Assume Formlessness
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